Growing up with Cpt. Spauldad

As most of you may already know my father Bo a.k.a Cpt. Spauldad has been through a lot lately as far as things medically go, he’s currently at Tampa General Hospital getting some of the best care in Tampa Bay. It’s been a crazy time at Destructo HQ as well, since he lives with us we’ve all been on high alert emotionally and trying to support and take care of ourselves as well. We’ve recently also had a few deaths in our close family so things have been a bit on panic mode. Please bear with us as deviations may be few and far between during these times, you all have been amazing in support.

Most of you don’t even know my dad, so i’d like to tell you a little bit about him. He’s pretty darn cool as far as Dad’s go, most of my friends choose to hang out with him instead of me at events like Spooky Empire where he dresses up like the character Cpt. Spaulding from the Rob Zombie movie The Devils Rejects (Hence, why people started calling him Cpt. Spauldad).He’s also decorated his room and the house like The Haunted Mansion, it’s seriously like an amusement park in his room. I certainly see where I get my creativity from…

If you ask anyone in my family, it’s always a surprise with my Dad.

He’s certainly a trouble maker and quite the storyteller, he loves to wrap presents in duct tape and write things on the toliet paper in the bathroom. Through it all even the bad times, he’s made life interesting. I don’t know how he does it, he’s been through Vietnam as a medic and the death of my mother. But he’s always seemed to keep his cool. This past week, I saw my Dad cry…in all my 24 years, I have never seen him breakdown on top of being miserable and weak.  He just lost his best friend and his younger sister is also dying of cancer.

Some of you might know, once the person that has been your rock for so many years starts breaking down, you completely lose it as well. I felt so helpless. I sat up most of the night with him to make sure he was still breathing one night as he was very weak from his illness and could hardly stand. We admitted him yesterday finally after much fighting with him, he’s stubborn. My sister, stayed at the hospital all day with him as he was being admitted and on the near verge of having a stroke. She’s the awesomesauce to my crazy land right now.

I’ve always been super close to my Dad, being the last of six kids… when I was very little he started to take me camping and to bluegrass festivals with him (for at least ten years), I was quite the adventurous little one always running barefoot through the creeks and swimming over alligators. He would always round me up and wash my black little dirt covered feet before bed, in the mornings he would cook a huge breakfast and the whole campground would show up for his biscuits and gravy. When I was a kid, we traveled all over the place together.. went boating, cave diving, all over the southern country one summer in a Saturn wagon…  he ran with an interesting crowd, from bikers to doctors. I learned a lot about different types of people, different types of lifestyles and how to survive in the worst situations… we used to get lost in the roughest wildernesses in Florida during the worst weather possible. He also taught me how to shoot a BB gun in the house, my mom didn’t like that too much.

My mother died when I was eight years old of Cancer, he had my older sister and me to raise on top of a being a director for 28 years at a local hospital. Pretty high stress job led him to have his second heart attack only a few years later. He’s been there for me in my worst times growing up as a teenager, since I pretty much lost my mind around age 12 battling with depression and having to grow up very fast. My dad always made sure that I put education first… he taught me about stocks and investing at a young age as well. He’s always made sure i’ve had food and a roof over my head even when after he retired because of the heart attack and things were looking bad economically for us.

He’s always been there for me, pushing me to keep on going. So during this time I want to make sure that I can be there for him as much as I can.   It’s been a daily struggle trying to figure out what to put on the shopping list and to get him to eat the right things (he has Diabetes also) and making sure he gets out every once in awhile… the man who’s usually out tinkering on something or going to classic car shows in his hot rod isn’t out being that awesome superdad and it’s tough. It’s not enough to say that things have been tough, there are worst things going on in the world and people lose people everyday. It’s that exact fact that I will not let him just give up because he’s having a bad month. He needs to grieve but I don’t want it to be the end of him too. He never let me give up when I was grieving… tough love is just that… really freaking tough to do.

I thank you all again for the outpouring of support, I really couldn’t make it through this time without my deviants. You all have given me strength and great advice. Hopefully Cpt. Spauldad will be back home shortly, if you all want to make well wishes to him or have any suggestions. Post them as a comment on here and i’ll show him this page!

Most importantly, tell your loved ones how much you love them. Freakin now, write a note… a postcard… smoke signals… tweet… I don’t care. Just do it. Just don’t go hug your mailman, mine could of pepper sprayed me today.

I love you Dad,


13 Comment

  1. Hang in there. He's lucky to have such a great little dirty-footed deviant for a daughter.

  2. Alyssa says: Reply

    amber, i don't know you very well. only through zim zari and through social networking, and salvador dali lol.. but i read all of this and it really touched my heart. it reminded me that my bad day today and all my pouting is simply ridiculous compared to what other people have to deal with everyday. thanks for putting me in my place in this world and my mindset in check, although it was not intentional haha…. & more importantly i finally know how you became the cool confident beautiful person you are today!! i wish your dad the best best best best of luck, he seems like a fighter though and with all your support i really think he will pull through. spirits and love are much tougher than any physical body, its just a vessel. i also think after all the things you two have been through together, this is just a bump in the road when you've scaled mountains. keep your chins up, and if you ever need to vent or need to talk you can always FB me, or we could luncheon at zim zari haha. please make sure your dad gets to hear my supportive ramblings haha! he's way too cool to give up hope! peace and love <3

    1. Miss Destructo says: Reply

      You are such a beautiful person Alyssa, we need more of you in Tampa. You have the biggest heart! You’ve been through so much lately too, it’s us fighters that make a difference in the world. Thank you, really made my day. When my dad comes home i’ll be sure to take him to Zim Zari for a celebration dinner. He’d like it there… you all are awesome. :)

  3. Alyssa says: Reply

    thanks amber :) i miss tampa, i moved to trinity/npr with my mom like 5 years ago and i really detest it hah. i'm in ybor all the time though!! and i agree, without the fighting spirits like us the world would be completely retrograde and we'd be living in caves with no hope lol. and is it strange to say your post really made my day too!? maybe it was all my giggling at the christmas video, and all the love you radiate for your dad that just sort of melted my heart :) bring Captain Spauldad to zim zari!! when you said that too i totally imagined someone spilling salsa on him, and him saying, "damn*t, m*therfuck*r got blood all over my best clown suit." bahah. just kidding. well wishes for both of you, love! :)

  4. aw, i'm really sorry to hear about all of this. i'll be sending a ton of good thoughts your way!

  5. Danny says: Reply

    Ms. D,

    I can't imagine what you're going through right now but, having seen family members of mine I love very much get ill, family members that were with me more than my parents, is extremely hard.

    Your Dad seems like a cool guy, and he has taken great steps to make sure that you were raised right and that shows in this post and how you have taken him in.

    Good luck in the future. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and my prayers will be with you guys… Good luck Cpt. Spauldad and Miss D :)

    – Danny aka "Boney"

  6. I wish I could have taken my mom, who died in 2008 from cancer, to Japan to see the Cherry blossoms. I was willing her to live during her fight but in the end nature always wins but your battle can be won because now is not your time. Even now I am trying not to tear up thinking about it. That I wasn't strong enough or I didn't help in the right way. I will honor my mothers memory by doing the things she loved since I was ultimately powerless to stop her death. Painting, listening to classical music and being supportive to everybody I know and hopefully one day seeing the cherry blossoms for her. I only stumbled upon this blog a few days ago and since devouring it's content and reading of the turmoil surrounding your recent losses and illness you can't give up Cpt. Spauldad. From what your daughter has written about you, you don't sound like a quitter to me. You were there for your family when you lost your love and they are here for you in your time of need. Accept their help because you helped shaped them into the outstanding individuals they are and now it's time for that love and education to be reflected back to get you well. Take care and be well for the time you have on this earth with the ones who love you.

  7. hang in there kiddo, i will be able to give you in person hugs soon

  8. Kevin Barrett says: Reply

    My Dad has cancer as well that's why I moved to Florida to be closer to the ones that have been there through some of the worst times for me, heck 2 strokes at 38 and rebuilding my right side, salmonella as a kid almost killing me the causing strokes when I got older. Lucky to be here really 1st stroke hit me when I was driving a semi and rolled up a gardrail like a fruit roll up, I just though I fell a sleep at the wheel. I have lost some of the greatest people to cancer, and just did the 5k relay for cancer in Riverview, raised a lot of money for the cause. All in ALL I have learned to change My life, and habits are much different now, and I have learned the problems come bearing gifts, and we need problems for their gifts.I may sound cheap, but I'm a much stronger and healthier person for it, I needed to slow down,I was racing to the grave in a semi, And needed a much deserved break. Well careful what you wish for cause I got a big Break, That was life changing.I hope all goes well for you and your father, Life is hard and unfair there is no doubt about it.

  9. Miss D., I only know you through Twitter, and have been following your recent messages regarding your dad and I would be as cold and heartless as I pretend to be if I did not admit to being moved. I lost my father in 1997 to cancer. I had just graduated from college in Boston. All I can say is keep doing what you’re doing and dammit do whatever you can to take care of yourself. You present your dad as an amazing man and I hope you all pull through this. I think anyone who I down with Zombie is pretty cool so I have Capt Spauldad in my thoughts. Lots of love…

  10. Miss D, loved your wonderful post. Very sweet. Wish your dad the best.
    "And happiness?
    Happiness is being sad together."
    -Tadeusz Borowski

  11. Christy C says: Reply

    Miss Destructo,
    I hope Cpt. Spauldad is feeling better and that you are taking care of yourself. I just have to say I've been a lurking admirer of yours since you first started DD, were living in Greenville and surviving on yams. You see, I grew up in Florida (Vero Beach area) and have lived in Greenville for the past 12 years. You are the age of my oldest son who has been on a similar career path as you, sans the yams. I'm so proud and happy for your success of late! I love your blue hair and outlook on life and am sure some of that came from your awesome Dad. I know he's very proud of you, and that you will hang tough while he gets on the road to wellness. Don't forget to take care of yourself while you take care of him, okay? My prayers are with you and your Dad.


    1. Miss Destructo says: Reply

      Thank you so much Christy! Truly brought light to my day! :)

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