“When there is nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire”- STARS

The weather outside in Florida isn’t the only thing that has been funky. Recently, there has been many life changes that have left me a bit in of what I like to call “mental swampass”. What this means is that, you know that feeling after you’ve been outside in the sun all day? That nasty feeling that leaves you feeling accomplished but sweaty, tired and just wanting to take a nap. Yep, I believe that’s called a “hot mess”…  Oh yeah, I am totally there… someone please throw me in the pool, maybe some gold gilded half naked men serving me sushi and cocktails?

I haven’t been myself much lately, i’ve been quite quiet and a little distant. I’ve been reading a lot, thinking too much and not saying enough of what I should say to those I should say to in an epically poetic fashion. I can’t think of words, I have been finding myself in thought running into doors and almost cars. I feel like a stranger in my own town, in my own mind… I should be feeling better, my dad is gaining strength back, I just got a rockin new haircut, i’ve got great things going for me career wise, lots of trips coming up to Vegas, NYC, Atlanta and Greenville, above all I absolutely love what I do. Okay universe, okay… I get it… but why do I feel so foggy? I seriously feel like ET in that god awful Atari game, I just fell in that damn hole…

I thought maybe subconsciously, my mind knows I am turning 25 in a few short weeks. (July 19th folks..) That I have reached what Gala Darling has wrote about as the Quarter Life Crisis” eh, whatever. I believe this could happen to anyone at ANY time in their lives. I just think that maybe our minds put markers on certain years to help fuel us to figure things out so we don’t end up making bad decisions for the next ten years… it’s a survival method. I am sure it can be explained scientifically, but I have a communications degree… as most of us know that will get out of me… a poem, a powerpoint presentation, and possibly a few blog posts on the subject.

Nah, it’s totally mental swampass that I am experiencing… just like the summertime, this can be brutally unkind or a way to detox yourself through sweating even though all you want to do is find a the coldest spot possible. I am learning to stay out of the cold, the cold as comfortable as it is can also be freezing. Maybe that’s why hell is hot instead of absolute cold, it keeps you alive to suffer and your blood boiling… I mean you could just freeze to death but… oh dear… rambling… see… mental swampass.

Get out of the cold, turn up the heat some more… be a fireball of life. Whatever is holding you back, take a swim through it. I am slowly reaching the other side of the pond, everyday making changes and fighting for my future goals. Getting things more organized, decluttering material items, working out almost everyday, eating better, cutting some of my vices and negative people in my life. I have to thank the ah-freakin-mazing friends, supporters and people that have unexpectedly came into my life recently. Uh yes.. drastically shifted my whole being. Kicked my ass. Yada yada yada. Pushing me to become a stronger individual and take some of the needed risks that I have been putting aside for awhile. Uber thanks to you all. Our time is now and the Beatles were right… find a little help from your friends. Just don’t tell them it’s because you’ve got a massive case of mental swampass.

Burn it up,


13 thoughts on “How To Defeat Mental Swampass”

  1. you're better then you think you are – just stop listening to the noise in you mind, do the next responsible thing and get out of your own way at the same time – do meaningful activities that you are passionate about and be the parent to the child in you and the child to the parent in you and if you are still feeling like your mind is on the roller coaster swampmess listen to "music Saved My life" conversations over dinner with (self-described) bi-polar bear James Kusel http://JamesKusel.com/blog

    and give em hell – you just need to learn some reality check tools and one of them is you don't have to take your mind seriously when its just rambling about nonsense and you don't have to tell everybody what your thinking too – and i you find yourself melting down contact me too – be you

    the art of living is making your life an art

  2. Wow! By the 4th paragraph, my mind was in a different place & my eyes went on reading! I connected with this & I guess I know what you mean by ‘mental swampass’ (If you Google it, your post is the #1 result :D). Great energy in the last paragraph. I feel refreshed. I’m tweeting this.

  3. No one warns you about 25. Its always about 30 and 40. 25 was tough for me too. 30 and 40 are easy. At 25 I hadn't found my confidence. I started my business when I was only 24, so at 25 it was "am I doing the right thing"?. "Who do I think I am that I can do this"? Well, I'm 49 now (and thinking the same thing-ha!). Jumping off cliffs without a parachute sounds crazy, until you consider the alternative. Working for the man, having your fate being decided by someone with a spreadsheet. You obviously love what you do, so keep doing it. I think it's just the time of the year. Nobody is motivated to work, so when you have all this energy that wants to get things done, and everyone is saying "we're not ready", it's tough. Maybe I'll find a high cliff and take another leap myself!

  4. I'm totally in the mire with you on this one. And all this time, I thought it was just my loathing of my job.

    But after reading your post, and Gala's, I can definitely see a theme of loneliness. Not necessarily for a significant other, but, for somebody to share some adventures with. For a pop-culture reference, the companion to your Doctor Who. People that have such an impact, both you and them leave as more than what you started.

    To this, I say get rid of those who hold you back. I don't waste my life associating with people that are poison to me. It makes no sense.

    Change for the better. Even if it is painful at first.

  5. I know how you feel, Miss D. I turned 25 back in May this year. It DOES start to hit me and I think "Argh, I haven't really done ANYTHING worth while." Time has really flown since I started working a normal deadend job at 22. At that time I was also really motivated to start creating my own comics, exercising often and eating healthy'ish. I've been able to keep it up on and off since then but now at 25 it starts to feel like I stepped in tar, or a bear trap and everything is becoming sluggish.
    Some dark, gloom and doom moments have tried to take over me now and then but I have found out there is that little something in me that refuses to die/give up. I guess my point is to keep building momentum and being nice and doors will begin to open and fun, positive things are gonna be in store!
    And yeah, the routine begins to wear you down and you forgot who your are and what your about so that alone time where your in your world is sometimes needed and healthy!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *