Have You Given Up On The Good In People?

Simply put, without too much detail or spiritual reason…I have always believed that people meet each other for a reason. There was a part of my past I locked away for years with a plane ride to anywhere but where I was. I was left in the burning ashes of a great fire, thinking I had made the biggest mistake in my life. I realize now it had made me a phoenix sent into flight, if none of that had happened in my life and I didn’t take a huge risk and leave it all behind. I would never be doing what I am doing today. Things would for sure be majorly different if I had chose to let someone else be in control of my life. But somethings still stay the same in sinewy rhythms… fleeting but I still somehow have a pulse of memories that haunt me.

Time has passed… I am amazed with where life has brought me in the last few years. The road again has lead me to a point of great decisions. It’s my first time being single in a long while, I have a built an small empire in only a short time. I can honestly say, I am blessed. I love the people that have came into my life. My friends even my enemies. You all make it happen.. you fuel me. Yet. There’s something greatly missing…  I should be healed, I should be able to trust. to love. to allow myself to be close to anything other a cup of coffee. It’s the only thing I know that will never fail me, unless it’s decaf. It seemed like I was starting to give up on the genuine good in people…

When I was a kid I made the realization that hospitals were the scariest place in the world, why? Because regardless of what the doctors and nurses jobs may be… they are human, they have bad days and generally they’ve always got another patient to see after you. Yet they put on this big stupid grin while they are sewing up your face. “You’ve seen me bleed and all I get is a lollipop?” I saw right through that false sense of monogamy, even at a young age I had a motto that “the only person who really cares about you is yourself”. Even despite this thought, I had a hard time believing that until I got much older. I am one of those people that cares about people…their emotions, their stories, their fears and doubts.. I want to help, I want to make them feel better. I don’t just want to stitch up their bleeding faces and hand them a lollipop. I want to touch them deeper than that, heal their soul.  Time and time again I have made other people the center of my passion and focus, resulting in great disappointment and lack of trust in mankind when they would leave me in the lions den.

I guess I put too much expectations into humankind, society and the world in general…that people would wake up to their inner potential eventually in their lives with a little push. Yes, it’s a tough place.. but look at the world, it doesn’t suck. There is still tons of beauty left, amazing people doing great things even with little money or in the worst situations. That passion for life is exactly what I crave in people. I love to surround myself with these types… those people with their own glowing sense of style beyond fashion sense, they’ve got swagger in their hearts. After you leave their presence, you want to write a song, buy a one way ticket, climb a mountain or just post a few tumblr posts. They inspire you, fuel you, kick you in the ass when you need it and pick you up when you fall.  You don’t even need to be around them, they can be away from them for long periods of time, but a part of them is always there shaping you. Yet, I always feel in a romantic notion of the sense, it would be nice to have that someone I can get dressed up and burn the town down with or just sit in a dark corner and laugh ourselves stupid at each other…a true partner in crime.

For the longest time I thought that true chivalry is dead and that made me very lonely. I thought there was no knights in shining armor, just jackasses in tin foil. I often feel like an alien in my own time. Until I find myself back in Roman times remembering spurting out “Et tu Brute?”. Someone ironically said last night.. “If you meet your match. He’s gonna have to either be a movie star from the past or a rockstar from the future.” Crapsticks, my time machine just broke and Tesla is dead.  They are completely right… Whoever is going to be that one, they’ll be a walking anachronism. An old soul with a futuristic mind.

There will be no crusade or wormholes, as I have a feeling that will fall into place one day. For now the focus is shifted on taking care of myself and those in my life currently. There’s been a great deal of amazing progression happening at Destructo HQ, things that require lots of time and reorganization. It’s a sense of being blissfully busy I guess you could say. Among all of the chaos in figuring out the next steps, in the past few weeks I have learned to never give up on yourself or the world… despite the negativity, the critics and anything that has happened in your past. Learn from those times that hurt you the most…these experiences change you, you are the one to decide if they are going to be used to change your life for the good or for the bad. Despite the risks, despite the pain…. choose well, move on and love often.

Let love in,

[signature]

Post to Twitter Post to Plurk Post to Delicious Post to Digg Post to Facebook Post to MySpace Post to Reddit Post to StumbleUpon

13 comments on “Have You Given Up On The Good In People?
  1. For a minute I thought this was going to be a man bashing, oh woe is me, mess of a bore. It isn't. The 5th paragraph is priceless and well written. It has a Tesla reference, that's just awesome on top of awesome.

    My head was in the same place as yours in May of 2008 then I met my wife and we blended our families. I never ever stop seeing the good in people. In the last 3 years I have improved every relationship I have just by being positive as much as possible.

    • Lance, thank you. Nah, no man bashing… maybe a little smashing. ;-) Positivity as cheezy and Tony Robbins as it sounds really does go a long way in creating a fun, well rounded life. Just don't over do it you know, or it's just overkill. Anyone who says all the time "MY LIFE IS AWWWESOME" is full of bullcrap. You've got to be realistic as well. Great to hear your story, certainly gives me hope to the future.

      Btw. Your blog is great. My kind of writing, I loved the piece about the cake and Butch Walker rocks.

      Cheers!
      -Miss D

  2. This line is fantastic: "I thought there was no knights in shining armor, just jackasses in tin foil."

    You're preachin' to the choir regardin' trust issues. Get burned enough and you don't really want anyone around.

    Can't really say I've been inspired by me enemies. I just do me best to avoid 'em.

  3. Amen to no knights in shining armor only jackasses in tin foil!!! Thats where I am in my life. I know this post is about seeing the good, but I'm pissed off & can't see the good right now. Great post though:)

  4. I never catch blogposts when they're written… Color me as random as you know I am.
    But even though I'm reading this post forever late, I can't not reply to it (and look like I was reading in a timely manner.)
    Mostly because I had friends who said similar things about me when I was younger. When I did find my match? He was all of those things… and more. But he was (and is) also 4 1/2 years younger than I. Our paths should've crossed many, many times before they did. We became acquainted 5 years before we dated. But I told him on the second date "whenever you're ready to get married, let me know." Because I sure did. 6 months later we were married. We celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary in July.
    You know what? So much of the ache and lack of feeling like there would never be anyone who didn't somehow take my desire to trust someone and use it against me went away because of him.
    I won't lie though – it took *me* a couple of years before I stopped waiting for the other shoe to drop. It never did.

    Hang in there hon. If I'd met my husband the first time we should've? I would've been almost 19 and he would've been in Junior High. The time will be right when it is. :)

  5. Reporting 1 Old Soul with Futuristic Outlook looking for herein described match.

    That’s crazy I had someone described same exact match theory while describing me the same. They also mentioned apocalypse thereafter.

    Made my day again – thanks,
    Nikita

  6. The fourth paragraph of your posting resonated with me the most……

    I've been following you off and on since your days in Greenville about 1 1/2 years ago or so. I liked you from the first, and this post does hit me right where I live at the moment. I am still wandering in the wilderness, but the connection you make with my inner self gives me inspiration and hope, though I struggle with many of the same things you have.

    Being alone and lonely is a hard thing. Having your foundations shaken to the core at the same time is hard to recover from. Being a natural non-conformist at heart makes life a little more difficult.

    Still…hope does spring eternal, and there is something that I was made to do. A message I am to proclaim. I just have to keep looking to find it. Pull myself back up from the ashes, and fly. (the Phoenix is my symbol, and I've written a poem with that title).

    Thank you for your inspiration, and for sharing your heart. Just so you know- you ARE one of those ppl you describe-

    "That passion for life is exactly what I crave in people. I love to surround myself with these types… those people with their own glowing sense of style beyond fashion sense, they’ve got swagger in their hearts. After you leave their presence, you want to write a song, buy a one way ticket, climb a mountain or just post a few tumblr posts. They inspire you, fuel you, kick you in the ass when you need it and pick you up when you fall. You don’t even need to be around them, they can be away from them for long periods of time, but a part of them is always there shaping you."

    Thank you for being one of those ppl for me. Keep writing/inspiring us!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *