No person is happy all the time or perfect. I have certainly had my rough patches and made my mistakes, I can be honest and say I have hurt people and I’ve hurt myself in the past. I’ve tried to right these wrongs as much as I can. In return I have found that people been incredibly awful and abusive to me and others I know as well when all we have done is try to be supportive and help them.
I tend to find myself helping way too many people who are just helping themselves as many of us do. I have a huge, huge empathic heart for everyone and have spent many sleepless nights or been at dangerously low points in the past thinking about how I could have handled things differently in many situations… the last thing I ever want to do is to hurt anyone unless they’ve hurt me badly. I know this isn’t the right way to go but I am human and a very, passionate person, so if you do me wrong I tend to go on a warpath of destruction and self-destruction. But the difference is I have fought to change this habit in myself, to be happier internally and externally and to learn from what I have done wrong to make me a better person to myself and to others.
Most of why I am also writing this is that people do change… recently I was able to come to peace with a person that for years made me feel I was in the wrong, made me think I was the crazy one when they really were the one suffering. They said…
“I know we don’t speak much anymore, but always know I care deeply. I realized you pushed me to be better, all you did was try to help me grow. I was selfish, stupid and hurting. You completely changed my life. I am beyond sorry. I am so glad to see you so happy. Thank you, thank you.”
People do change, people can forgive and forget. That takes huge strength than most of us have but it can be done.
What is important is that you must take note of people who are constantly negative, complaining, unsupportive or talk about others often in a negative light. Remember, no matter if they are your friend today they in the end only will bring misery to you when they are not happy with you or you have no use to them. If you need a better guide to the warning signs, this article has helped me greatly.
Trust me, put up a wall, kick these people out of your head and out of your life as best you can, it may be hard, they may be family, co-workers, or close friends but you’ll feel better in the end not having those people consume your thoughts.
Ask, don’t assume. A true caring person or friend will always ask what’s up if you are being a jerk or acting strange. Maybe someone is having a rough patch, however if it is a constant behavior over time your gut should know best. Be supportive, be understanding for those who are struggling between the two worlds, be kind and always try to help those that have helped you.
Shit happens, situations get messy, people aren’t perfect. However, you don’t need to let those who are miserable with themselves, refuse to change, are angry, false or abusive get the best of you. You may not always “be” there for someone in this modern world or vice versa but having people be there or be completely absent when they need you the most is what counts.
Just kick ass for yourself and for each other, make good things happen around you, love each other and live the best life possible you can with what you have.
Without the color, the good and the bad, the weirdness and all the people that make up the fabric of your life… life is just living.