Learn how to really stand out of a crowd!

I can’t say enough thanks to Dan Walderschmidt for seeing the beauty in being different. I just read an article he wrote after his TedX experience called “Success Starts With You Being Different“and I have never read something before that completely encapsulated my whole mission statement.

And… he said it in only 6 easy steps.

1. Being different won’t kill you…
2. Being different will get you noticed…
3. Being different won’t have people outwardly lauding you… (at first)
4. Being different secretly makes people respect you…
5. Being different probably won’t get you the incremental job promotions…
6. Being different positions you best to be able to change the world…

I couldn’t have said it better Dan… I also was at TEDxGreenville and it was somewhat of a memory of a time when I lived in Greenville, had blue hair and found out that it wasn’t accepted to be different and very tough to find any respect in certain communities. I went through tons of tough times and lots of teary bedtimes after run in’s with people who would make rude comments or generally avoid me at all costs…that’s when I thought I would never fit in anywhere, I almost dyed my hair back to normal. That’s when I met TimTV and he inspired me to just be myself and that’s when my blog Destructo Deviations started to showcase the different side of Greenville. A year later I have learned that just being myself has made me stand out of the crowd and more opportunities than I can count.

I personally think the strongest people in this world are people who take the time to understand others, to let different become normal and to realize that the best qualities of someone is generally something that makes them stand out. Why not make your whole self your best quality?

Last week I had a conversation with Trey Pennington about Social Media Marketing and the methods that have worked best for me to find that next step in life whether it be a career opportunity, hobby or even personal life goals. I had discussed being yourself and being unique, this week I would like to further explore that topic as I get asked quite a bit by you the Destructo Devations reader “I want to do something new, but I don’t know how to do it.”

1.  Look to the past- When ever I feel that pulling sensation of either cabin fever with my life or just the “feeling stuck” syndrome. I spend a day in a huge tupperware box I have, going through old family photos and home movies. Sometimes when I feel that sinking feeling of “going nowhere”,  I look back on my life as a child and it really puts things in perspective on how far i’ve come and to not give up. Every time I go back and view a old home movie of myself at three years old, I realize that back then that these things now didn’t matter that much. It’s amazing the feeling you have when you put that mindset that money isn’t what your world revolves around, it’s that carefree childhood spirit that the best entrepreneurs have tapped into.

2. Get rid of negative people- Naysayers, people that gossip about you, those general debbie downers. Cut em off, don’t think that your friends make you. YOU make you. Many people get stuck in situations where their social circles have control over every aspect of their life and people that would stab you in the back to make themselves look better. This is the real world, people are fake, there are tons of snakes and sharks in any circle. Some people thrive off the success and downfall of others. Listen to your instincts and never let anyone use you for their benefit solely. YOU make your world, there’s a lot in this world we can’t control but take the reins over the things you can control.

3. De-Materialize- Look around your house, does it look like a thrift store? If so, it probably belongs there. If you need money, stop for a second and see what you can sell or downsize before you start complaining that you are broke. I recently got rid of half of my belongings and old clothes, most I just gave to Salvation Army… I’ve never felt so free!

4. Look in the mirror- After getting rid of so much stuff, I realized this was the perfect opportunity to start a new personal image. Just because that suit looked good in the 80’s doesn’t mean you still look awesome today. Sometimes we need to keep our image fresh and interesting to the public, just look at Madonna, David Bowie and Lady Gaga. Constant reinvention of the self! But what was the image I wanted to portray and how could I do this on a budget? Honestly, most of the time… I am a jeans and t-shirt kind of gal but i’ve always got a great pair of boots to back that up. Start small and find that one accessory that stands out, a great pair of glasses, nice shoes, a cool tie from Cyberoptix maybe? Whatever the accessory, make it you and make it unique, I have a cheap pair of red sunglasses that always gets attention. Sometimes though you need more help than that or have no fashion sense whatever, there are personal image consultants or look to a celebrity or someone that you admire. Steal ideas from their outfits and find the cheap knockoff of it….thrift stores are amazing for finding clothes! Sometimes I will splurge a little on key pieces that I will use a bunch (Shoes, Suits, Jeans) but never pay $30 for a t-shirt. I always again look back on people that I admired when I was younger for style choices, I can remember wanting Saffron from Republica’s haircut…but, I was always told by hairstylists “Good luck, it’s a hard hairstyle to keep up on curly hair” but I went for it (Big ups to my CHI Flat Iron!) . It really touches me when I get email from fans with their new hair color or bob haircuts inspired by me.  Oh and always get a little teared up when a little kid goes, “Mommy, I want blue hair!”, I can remember being that little kid. Whatever it is, don’t be an exact copy of someone else, make it you!

5. Nothing is a disability- If you have a unique physical appearance or a disability, make that a part of your personal branding. Don’t be ashamed of anything that is a part of you. It makes you special out of a crowd, for example Mr. D is a videographer has to wear an eyepatch sometimes. I suggested maybe he should become “the one eye camera guy”. Honestly, sometimes I feel like a freak being six feet tall and super skinny. For awhile there I didn’t even want to leave the house, people can be very mean. Once I learned more about other people going through the same thing, I felt a shift happen in my thinking, I was proud of my height and was able to focus more on the uniqueness of it. Sometimes your success in celebrating your disabilities can inspire others as well.

6. The “Deets”- Details, details, details… all the fun stuff that comes with running a business or trying to promote yourself. Make yourself a press kit, business cards, get out to networking events, start conversing with people on Twitter doing what you want to do.  Even in the unemployment line, start up conversations around you… you may find your new best friend. Every moment is an opportunity, always pay attention to the details and you may find yourself constantly with new opportunities for reinventing yourself.

7. Learn from others- One book that changed my life, was Design Your Self by Karim Rashid. This book has seriously been everywhere with me, through college, to Europe, Greenville and beyond. I don’t think there is a better book out there to reinvent yourself, Karim Rashid has taken his personal experiences as a graphic designer to create a guide to designing yourself. Not to mention it’s so easy to read and on the eyes, every page is a little piece of a typography masterpiece. It covers every single aspect of your life that could need redesign, even your love life. If you need a checklist or a one stop guide, hunt this book down now. Beware, don’t leave it in your bathroom or coffee table it might get stolen.

Never stop inventing yourself. We are never done, we are never finished with life until death. Keep life interesting and you will find new opportunities and inspiration for your next step. Open yourself up to the world and the world will come to you.

You only have one life… become the person you always wanted to be, RIGHT NOW.

At Destructo HQ, things can get a little bit nutty like any office. Phones ringing, dogs barking, tweets tweeting and the occasional burp or two from Cpt. Spauldad. Ever since I was a little destructo, I knew that my work would not take place in a conventional office setting, I think I saw the movie Falling Down and I never wanted to have a “9-5 job”, because in my five year old mind… it made you crazy and want to kill people.

Anyways, my younger self would be proud to know that I don’t have to go to a workplace, however being self employed is more like a 5am to 9pm gig. But I am far from the guy in Falling Down, I love the freedom and being able to work remotely since I don’t drive. But before you go, “Wow, I am quitting my job right now!” You have to keep up your own finances, pay your health insurance and job security… you could be making $50 and hour but that may have to feed you for those times you are without work. Well, technically, job security is made upon your own terms to work hard to gain new clients. Your happiness with self employment depends on your goals in life and organizational skills. If you are going to be your own boss, act like it.

First thing… go out and buy this book.

My So-Called Freelance Life: How to Survive and Thrive as a Creative Professional for Hire.

This book can tell you everything about freelancing! It gives you the nitty gritty on self-employment as well and real life advice.

Don’t think any price is too high to ask. Research what other freelancers are making and set accordingly to the size of the project and your experience skills. Remember again… you may have 3 clients at a time paying $1000 a month. But at the end of the year if you stay with them the entire time, that’s about $4,000 in taxes you will owe… on top of paying your own insurance, travel, and office costs. Plus any of those times you may be without work. Learn how to budget.

Know your taxes and self-employment deductions. Learn these terms, 1099 and Schedule C… Us freelancers and self-employed have quarterly taxes, so we get to pay our taxes four times a year! Woo hoo. It’s not as scary as it sounds however, just do your research and did you know that even your household pets may be deductible? Keep all your receipts for everything for the year, you never know what may be deductible! Read this book for further help… Self Employed Tax Solutions

If you are lost in tax translation.. I recommend hiring a personal accountant that specializes in freelancers and self employed such as Jason Blumer in Greenville, SC. He rocks my socks.

Keep track of your finances. When working with clients,  I use Freshbooks for invoicing and Outright to keep track of my expenses and it’s made for self employed so it let’s you know when your quarterly taxes are due! Plus it’s integrated with Freshbooks, so all my invoices automatically go into Outright! Tre Cool!

One thing about being self employed you have to keep focused! I am the queen of Moleskines, planners, notepads… seriously… get your self a calendar now. Being a blogger… inspiration comes and goes so planning out topics when you get inspired is the best thing to do. I also deal in social media so I set up my hootsuite to watch all my accounts, while I multitask in finding new clients and working on setting up new projects. Not to mention everything else that comes up in the day to day life… at a normal workplace you don’t have to usually deal with chihuahua poop.

Keep your self motivated. Since you are basically, at your workplace and coming home to your workplace. You may feel the need to work ALL the time. Know when to take breaks, get out… go to the beach. Get inspired. Keep the flow going, the world is your workplace. Take your laptop to the bookstore if things get hectic at home and lastly, take a vacation every once in awhile. Even if it’s for work (tax deduction!) a different surrounding can open your mind (and job opportunities) up… that guy sitting next to you on the plane may be your next client.

Be your own travel agent. A part of being self-employed is that sometimes you’ll need to travel outside the state. I’ve been traveling the world for years now, so I have a pretty good understanding that you need to be smart and you can get anywhere for cheap. Most of the time they’ll pay but when it comes out of your pocket, get those reciepts for tax time!

• Flights… make sure that the layover time isn’t short, because sometimes you can be delayed. You don’t want to miss that meeting.
• Transportation… keep the local cabs numbers on you in case you get stuck somewhere. Airport shuttles are the best and cheapest, but sometimes when you are far away you may need to find someone locally to take you. Make sure your departing airport is nearby enough so if you have to leave early or your local transportation can’t make it on time you can still make your flight out. Don’t almost get stuck in Germany like I did.
• Get a deal… Try Priceline.com and name your own price or Kayak.com to see the cheapest deals from multiple sites.

Contracts. Being self employed you usually need your own contract, depending on the work you are doing. You can find templates online or have a lawyer make a document up for you. When working with a larger company or agency they’ll usually have contracts for you to sign. I usually never will sign anything until I have lawyer look at it unless I understand the terms myself, most lawyers will ask a small retainer fee for looking over documents. This is good to answer any questions you may have and to make sure that you don’t end up selling your soul or name to a company. Also READ those Non-Disclosure Agreements very very carefully, they can be confusing about what you can or can’t say but basically… keep Fight Club in mind. Just don’t talk to anyone about it.

We all make mistakes as freelancers… just less than year ago I can say I didn’t know any of this when entering the Self-Employment/Freelancing field…. there are tons of things I wish I had done or didn’t do and jobs that I thought I had but lost. These things at the time crushed me and I thought would be a monkey on my back of regrets… but we learn from these mistakes. I could have stayed in bed but I didn’t (well, maybe for a few days…) but I got out there and kept my head up while doing as much researching as I could and asking others who are in the same field as I am.

Find a mentor. I wish I could sit Richard Branson down and ask him about all his mistakes as a young entrepreneur, but I don’t have Richard Branson. I have people like Gala Darling, The Brand Builder and Clint Catalyst to give me the inspiration and guidance I need. Find someone who is doing what you want to be doing and just learn the ropes or ask a question or two when in a rut. You’ll find a little piece of them shining through in everything you do.

Above all self-employment is the self-employment of your mind. Keep focused, Let all your past job notions go out the door, if you can dream it, you can do it.. and you can make money from it.

If you are unemployed, you may be making the same face right now. I get asked all the time, “Miss Destructo, you’ve technically been unemployed for almost a year now… how do you do it?”.. okay, maybe that wasn’t so much the people I know rather than the voice in my head going… “What the heck are you doing?”. Bascially, I can honestly say I have embraced my unemployment as a time to grow and explore those things i’ve always wanted to do such as blogging. Honestly, it hasn’t been all glitter and fun times, living off of sardines and yams for three months while living in Greenville, SC.  I never was on unemployment or food stamps, I couldn’t qualify since technically I never moved to the state and there was other factors that rendered me unelligible. This should have sent me into a panic, but instead it just drove me further to learn how to beat the unemployment monster. Working odd jobs such as band promoting for Livenation and I started focusing previous band promotion (I worked for record companies since I was 13)  talents into social media and started promoting myself.. getting me a few paying social media freelance jobs.. leading me to where I am today. Don’t depend on others, if you work hard to survive you will.

Thus began my life into being self-employment, I made a huge leap and moved back to Tampa, FL… in with my eccentric father and one eyed camera guy Mr. D. This way, we could all save tons of money and have a place to finally set up a DestructoHQ for all our future deviations. So if you are struggling with rent and debating “I don’t want to be that guy that lives with his parents” You need to kick that stigma in the ass right now… if it’s what you have to do…do it. Plus my father makes a mean spaghetti, which is much better than yam-ghetti anyday.

The point of liberation. In my first month back home, sitting in my empty room with just a suitcase. All of material items I had sold or given to charity… That moment was probably one of the most liberating things ever, I was starting over… I knew this was the beginning of something big, something great and I was not going to look back at all the jobs I could of had or those items that were weighing me down. If you want to move forward, get rid of everything that is weighing you down (this includes negative people as well).

A few weeks later, while I was tearing through pieces of my former life and trying to grow my social media presence here in Tampa, I gained a freelance writing position at a local magazine Creative Loafing. Something so simple to most was a huge honor to me, I can remember in 1997 when I picked up a Weekly Planet (what CL was before) magazine and knew that I wanted to write for them. I tried for many years when I was a promoter to get into the magazine without much progress. My advice is remember your goals from when you were young, if you still want to do them today. Go for it and never give up.

I’ve been here for four months now, it’s had it’s share of financially terrifying moments still. But, I just am thankful for everything I have in my life… my family, my friends and those who inspire me everyday. There are so many people out there struggling and suffering. The knowledge of that puts things in perspective for me and pushes me to live life to the fullest with the resources I have. Being unemployed is not the end of the road, it’s been the beginning of a new path for me…. self-employment.

In the meantime, put all the worries into a box and put that box into the closet. When you wake up in the morning, don’t say “Oh crap, i’ve got this bill and this bill to pay”… bug the hell out of everyone you know, find your Italian and Greek friends to invite you over for dinner, network through social media and get out there… destroy your boredom with life and enjoy the ride.

When I went to Germany I asked a woman in her mid 40’s with PERFECT skin how she stayed so young? She told me about Nivea Creme and the Aspirin Mask and I have never went back to anything again.

Your probably like err… Destructo… Aspirin… Really? It’s primarily Salicylic Acid which is used in a gazillion face products especially those for acne. So this not only is the ultimate exfoliater but takes the redness and decreases spots.  Also awesome for guys before shaving!  You can get a huge bottle of this anywhere for under a dollar… just make sure you get the non-coated, they dissolve much quicker.

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David Bowie. Steven Spielburg. Abraham Lincoln. Richard Branson.

Would you guess that none of these people had a college education?

During college, it’s pretty much drilled into your head that if you get this degree it’s a golden ticket to job paradise. Oh boy, have I found out since graduating in 2008 that you can have a piece of paper saying you are the destroyer of boredom and get further than having a degree, especially in these very tough economic times. A year later and still unemployed with a very expensive piece of paper in a frame and still paying off student loans. However, what I did learn in college with a BA in Communications is the technical skills necessary to creating my own brand. I’ve accomplished more than I would ever expect in college guidance councilor’s wildest dreams. By learning photoshop, how to do my own video and press releases has saved me tons of money in having to hire others. But did I need to spend the money to learn this in an institution or could I have self educated myself?

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