“You may tell a tale that takes up residence in someone’s soul, becomes their blood and self and purpose. That tale will move them and drive them and who knows that they might do because of it, because of your words. That is your role, your gift.”
― Erin Morgenstern
In what seems like another life, yet only a few years ago there was a great man I knew. An always jolly and generous man who welcomed me to a community where I was bit of an outsider kid with blue hair and nothing little more than yams in my pocket. A man who inspired me to tell my story to the world and was always there when chapters got rough especially during my father’s illness.
I recently came across the tweets and blog of fellow Tampa twitterer @In11Months, and needless to say I saw a lot of myself someone who’s bio read “see how I will successfully use Social Media to achieve some major life goals.”, last year I went through a bit of a quarter life crisis. I still didn’t have a job, my fiancee and I split up, I was trying to run a consulting business by myself, living somewhere I didn’t want to be in the middle of nowhere without a vehicle, taking care of my very ill father and having my family turn against me while I nearly had a breakdown was one of the roughest times in my life. I vouched then I would pick myself up and never look back… well, it’s still been a bit of a rocky road, it’s like running through mud… it’s tough, tries to pull you down but there’s always dry land on the other side. I feel like I am finally at the light at the end of the tunnel.. business is picking up, i’ve got a packed traveling schedule, a possible book on the way, taking better care of my health and I am slowly learning to build up my confidence and trust people again after a rough few months. Most of all, I am learning to love myself and feel inspired… I found some great inspiration in this recent blog post by @In11Months that really hit home, he stated his frustration with his current state, albeit comfortable is wanting much much more out of life.
“A time flexible job, making decent money doing something I love to do! Is it really that hard??? Why is this so seemingly challenging to create for myself.”
Can we really create a different life for ourselves in less than a year through social media? You bet your bippy you can… here’s what I had to respond. Read more
Simply put, without too much detail or spiritual reason…I have always believed that people meet each other for a reason. There was a part of my past I locked away for years with a plane ride to anywhere but where I was. I was left in the burning ashes of a great fire, thinking I had made the biggest mistake in my life. I realize now it had made me a phoenix sent into flight, if none of that had happened in my life and I didn’t take a huge risk and leave it all behind. I would never be doing what I am doing today. Things would for sure be majorly different if I had chose to let someone else be in control of my life. But somethings still stay the same in sinewy rhythms… fleeting but I still somehow have a pulse of memories that haunt me.
Time has passed… I am amazed with where life has brought me in the last few years. The road again has lead me to a point of great decisions. It’s my first time being single in a long while, I have a built an small empire in only a short time. I can honestly say, I am blessed. I love the people that have came into my life. My friends even my enemies. You all make it happen.. you fuel me. Yet. There’s something greatly missing… I should be healed, I should be able to trust. to love. to allow myself to be close to anything other a cup of coffee. It’s the only thing I know that will never fail me, unless it’s decaf. It seemed like I was starting to give up on the genuine good in people…
“When there is nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire”- STARS
The weather outside in Florida isn’t the only thing that has been funky. Recently, there has been many life changes that have left me a bit in of what I like to call “mental swampass”. What this means is that, you know that feeling after you’ve been outside in the sun all day? That nasty feeling that leaves you feeling accomplished but sweaty, tired and just wanting to take a nap. Yep, I believe that’s called a “hot mess”… Oh yeah, I am totally there… someone please throw me in the pool, maybe some gold gilded half naked men serving me sushi and cocktails?
I haven’t been myself much lately, i’ve been quite quiet and a little distant. I’ve been reading a lot, thinking too much and not saying enough of what I should say to those I should say to in an epically poetic fashion. I can’t think of words, I have been finding myself in thought running into doors and almost cars. I feel like a stranger in my own town, in my own mind… I should be feeling better, my dad is gaining strength back, I just got a rockin new haircut, i’ve got great things going for me career wise, lots of trips coming up to Vegas, NYC, Atlanta and Greenville, above all I absolutely love what I do. Okay universe, okay… I get it… but why do I feel so foggy? I seriously feel like ET in that god awful Atari game, I just fell in that damn hole…
I think since childhood, i’ve heard the song “Hey Jude” hundreds of times on the radio, in the car, in elevators, crappy cover bands and drunken karaoke. I never really think that song could change my life at such a perfect time, I don’t know if perfect is the right word to use for this time in my life… but it’s certainly a lyrical mirror to my current situation brewing in my head and home.
The last few days i’ve certainly hit a rough point… feeling like a stranger in my own town, helpless to my ill father and wondering if what I am working so hard towards will even work out. I can’t remember the last time i’ve seen a paycheck or a full wine bottle. If there was a hashtag for this it would be #passionFAIL. The other day, I had the radio on and “Hey Jude” was playing once again, almost tuned out like most things entering my brain currently. This time I sat there, listened and sang along. A wonderful celebration of life at one of my darkest hours, the words spoke to me telling me to keep going. To take this sad song and make it better.
A few times in my life I have met real life superheroes, where the powers aren’t lasers or secret mind melding techniques. They have the power of heart, a superhuman ability to survive in any situation and inspire others around them to love life.
This week i’ve been everyday waking up to a world of anarchy, with my father lethargic and very weak… my household feels like a broken mirror and probably one of the hardest things you can ever have to do is buy your parents diapers. Becoming a caretaker, I have struggled to find ways to keep hope up not only for myself but for my father. Like the song goes… “I need a hero!”
“Cause we all have wings, but some of us don’t know why”- INXS
Usually when I get asked what I do, I tell people Social Media Consultant. *blank stare* “Uh, I community manage and create brands online…” *blank stare* “I play with twitter and facebook.” OHHHHHHH….You can get paid for THAT? *faceplant* “Yeah, most of the talented ones make over $100,000 a year”
Okay, as the state of Destructo HQ shows… over the last few weeks it’s been mighty messy. Between my father being ill and helping with social media destruction of Foursquare Day here in Tampa, everyone has been asking how I am able to keep it together without having a complete Destructo sized meltdown. Here’s some ways to keep it together when life gets messy…
(NSFW due to language. Tell the kids to cover their ears…)
In my lifetime, i’ve been through some interesting circles of people. From the richest of the rich to the strangest of the strange and I can tell you *gets out venn diagram* that the line is actually pretty thin in the middle. I’ve known CEO’s, pastors, pilots and teachers that their real lifestyles outside would boggle your mind. Were any of them doing anything illegal or hurting anyone else? No. I have to tell you if I could eat the self-esteem they have for breakfast, I would. Very happy people. I can honestly say there’s no such thing as a “normal society”, we are all a little strange sometimes… that’s what makes each of us unique and human.
But we as people are also faulted by our pre conceived notions of the “first impression”, on how we appear to another automatically puts a label on us and shuffles us into a filing system in a person’s brain. It’s all programed in us from childhood, I can remember fighting against be put in a frilly dress for church and told “You want to make a good first impression”. Later on in life, I could also actually see the phrase emanating off of every suited up frat boy working off that hangover at the career fairs in college.
I can’t say enough thanks to Dan Walderschmidt for seeing the beauty in being different. I just read an article he wrote after his TedX experience called “Success Starts With You Being Different“and I have never read something before that completely encapsulated my whole mission statement.
Last week I had a conversation with Trey Pennington about Social Media Marketing and the methods that have worked best for me to find that next step in life whether it be a career opportunity, hobby or even personal life goals. I had discussed being yourself and being unique, this week I would like to further explore that topic as I get asked quite a bit by you the Destructo Devations reader “I want to do something new, but I don’t know how to do it.”
1. Look to the past- When ever I feel that pulling sensation of either cabin fever with my life or just the “feeling stuck” syndrome. I spend a day in a huge tupperware box I have, going through old family photos and home movies. Sometimes when I feel that sinking feeling of “going nowhere”, I look back on my life as a child and it really puts things in perspective on how far i’ve come and to not give up. Every time I go back and view a old home movie of myself at three years old, I realize that back then that these things now didn’t matter that much. It’s amazing the feeling you have when you put that mindset that money isn’t what your world revolves around, it’s that carefree childhood spirit that the best entrepreneurs have tapped into.
2. Get rid of negative people- Naysayers, people that gossip about you, those general debbie downers. Cut em off, don’t think that your friends make you. YOU make you. Many people get stuck in situations where their social circles have control over every aspect of their life and people that would stab you in the back to make themselves look better. This is the real world, people are fake, there are tons of snakes and sharks in any circle. Some people thrive off the success and downfall of others. Listen to your instincts and never let anyone use you for their benefit solely. YOU make your world, there’s a lot in this world we can’t control but take the reins over the things you can control.